smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
