So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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