we're blogging at a bar
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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