mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
