Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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