The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
