If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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