just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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