Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
