I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
