I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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