why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
