just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
