If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Pants are for mortals
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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