I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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