My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
