i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she peed on how many people?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
