so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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