fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
