I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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