ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
