there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize