Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
