You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
