That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize