How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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