Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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