i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
