im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
