our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
