Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
