I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
