Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
