I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
