Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
