Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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