They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
