I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
