Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
