The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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