BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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