i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
