you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
