the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize