... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
