Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
