we have officially lost it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
