you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize