last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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