so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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