I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
