Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i think i just lost a toe
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
