this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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