She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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