yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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