Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
