If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
