i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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