I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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