Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
