is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize