i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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