We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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