Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
