gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Welp...herpes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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