No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
