i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
