this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
