3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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