Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
