No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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