My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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