I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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