Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
