Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I bet he comes in French.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
