ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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