Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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