Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
