Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
